WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS
Sunday, April 24, 2005
what's the meaning of all this?
i was awaken at 5 this morning, it sucks cos i only just fell asleep at 2.30.
it's very hot for that time a day, but its not the reason why i couldn't get back to sleep.
a rush of thoughts suddenly flashed in my head...(sigh)
perhaps its that book i read before i go to sleep (the 5 people you meet in heaven).
During this weekend i thought time passed so slowly, it's like i can't wait to get to monday again.
But this morning I realised something different.
I suddenly realised HOW FAST life was.
Last june i started a new job in KSIT and here i am almost june again already in a different job.
It seems not long ago at the end of last year, when i thought i finally found a new source of happiness, a brightlight, someone who changed my days.
I remember on the first hours of 2005, we were side by side, a great way to start a year...but then....
only about a month later i found out it was only a dream...the brightlight isn't staying....its just passing thru.....A month after one of the happiest day of my life i found myself in the most dreaded moments...that night when the truth revealed, and the nightmares sets in.
It only took less than a month to bury you happiness.
And now time seems to drag me by force...feeding me with reality after reality wether i am ready or not.
And everyone around me seems to play along with it. Like I am the only one without the understanding. Like they expect me to act like nothing happened.
Everyone seems to think: "Hey come on, it's time to move!" and they're pulling me by the hand fiercely without even caring about how i felt or what's on my mind.
This morning I realised how tired I am, keeping pace with time and everything, and now i am haunted with fear on 'What's next', 'Where are they dragging me now' 'How can I trust my heart again' 'How do I translate those signs'....So help me God.
Shit, it feels good to let it out....
someday we'll know...someday i'll know
it's very hot for that time a day, but its not the reason why i couldn't get back to sleep.
a rush of thoughts suddenly flashed in my head...(sigh)
perhaps its that book i read before i go to sleep (the 5 people you meet in heaven).
During this weekend i thought time passed so slowly, it's like i can't wait to get to monday again.
But this morning I realised something different.
I suddenly realised HOW FAST life was.
Last june i started a new job in KSIT and here i am almost june again already in a different job.
It seems not long ago at the end of last year, when i thought i finally found a new source of happiness, a brightlight, someone who changed my days.
I remember on the first hours of 2005, we were side by side, a great way to start a year...but then....
only about a month later i found out it was only a dream...the brightlight isn't staying....its just passing thru.....A month after one of the happiest day of my life i found myself in the most dreaded moments...that night when the truth revealed, and the nightmares sets in.
It only took less than a month to bury you happiness.
And now time seems to drag me by force...feeding me with reality after reality wether i am ready or not.
And everyone around me seems to play along with it. Like I am the only one without the understanding. Like they expect me to act like nothing happened.
Everyone seems to think: "Hey come on, it's time to move!" and they're pulling me by the hand fiercely without even caring about how i felt or what's on my mind.
This morning I realised how tired I am, keeping pace with time and everything, and now i am haunted with fear on 'What's next', 'Where are they dragging me now' 'How can I trust my heart again' 'How do I translate those signs'....So help me God.
Shit, it feels good to let it out....
someday we'll know...someday i'll know
:: posted by MAJOR, 8:38 PM
